I love my family. I love my life. There is one thing, however, that I do not know that I will ever overcome. I am the third of five children. We are all very
close. My mother had 5 children in 8 years. I’ll let you do the math. We had so much fun growing up together and I am thankful for all the fun memories we made over the years. However being the middle child I often felt kind of left out. Just let to do my own thing and that no one really cared if I succeeded or failed. Of course my parents did, but I never felt it. In reading about Middle Child Syndrome, I find myself checking off many categories that fit me perfectly.
Common Traits of the middle child include;
“Squeezed” and “Stuck” – The middle child will never catch up to the eldest (at least, not in the middle child’s mind), and will never again enjoy the position of the darling baby of the family.
Competitive – If they cannot outshine their siblings in some way, they may be quiet and withdrawn. Competition is not limited to school work, sports or hobbies; they will try to compete at home over tiny little things. It boils down to getting attention. ( I think I am the most competitve one in my family)
Peacemaker – Middle children are diplomatic negotiators. Some of them try to avoid conflict; others are skilled at smoothing things out. But do not be fooled by this stereotype; middle children can be very jealous of their siblings, which is the source of many of their fights.
Lost – Did you ever hear a parent introducing children with something like, “This is Pete Jr., our math whiz and basketball player; he’s the oldest. And that’s little Meg, the baby of our family. And Melanie here, well, she’s the middle child.” If the parents are confused about who the child is, you can bet the middle child is, too. She may feel inferior, overlooked and unloved.
Secretive – Middle children often keep their hurts to themselves. They won’t tell you how left out they feel when you unwittingly overlook them, but if you are attentive you will notice their inexplicably sullen or sad behavior.
Fighter of Injustice – Middle children can be vocal about fairness. It is a matter of life and death (you might be led to believe) that they get their turn to sit by you at the table, to have equal presents at birthdays or Christmas, or whatever matter they are comparing with their siblings.
Flexible – Because they are born in the middle of everything, they have had to learn to adjust. Some are more laid-back than others, but most of them know how to adapt to situations and people. They are a bit more realistic about problems and solutions.
Social – Once children conclude there is no “special” place for them at home, they begin to feel more secure with their friends.
Rebellious –Middle children just want to be noticed, to find their niche, and if they do not feel like they are getting enough attention, they may turn to outrageous or even rebellious behavior to get noticed.
Besides the social one, these pretty much describe me to a T. While some might not think me so rebellious, I certainly have had some outrageous behaviors in trying to get noticed.
Sometimes I think I just convince myself I will always be this way. But recently at work I have been put into some situations where I have felt very lost and trying to play the peacemaker role, and I have ended up getting hurt, but instead of expressing this, I just keep it to myself. All of these things just remind of how I often felt growing up. Middle Child Syndrome is very real, I suggest checking out this article if you do have 3 or more kids, there are some great tips on what to do about your middle child if they start displaying these types of behaviors. I actually really like being the middle child for the most part, I am surrounded by the family I love, when my odler siblings went away I wasn't left to my lonesome, I was able to form closer bonds with my younger ones. It really is a great place to be, however I certainly have developed these personality traits to go along with it and they are still very much a part of my life.
close. My mother had 5 children in 8 years. I’ll let you do the math. We had so much fun growing up together and I am thankful for all the fun memories we made over the years. However being the middle child I often felt kind of left out. Just let to do my own thing and that no one really cared if I succeeded or failed. Of course my parents did, but I never felt it. In reading about Middle Child Syndrome, I find myself checking off many categories that fit me perfectly.
Common Traits of the middle child include;
“Squeezed” and “Stuck” – The middle child will never catch up to the eldest (at least, not in the middle child’s mind), and will never again enjoy the position of the darling baby of the family.
Competitive – If they cannot outshine their siblings in some way, they may be quiet and withdrawn. Competition is not limited to school work, sports or hobbies; they will try to compete at home over tiny little things. It boils down to getting attention. ( I think I am the most competitve one in my family)
Peacemaker – Middle children are diplomatic negotiators. Some of them try to avoid conflict; others are skilled at smoothing things out. But do not be fooled by this stereotype; middle children can be very jealous of their siblings, which is the source of many of their fights.
Lost – Did you ever hear a parent introducing children with something like, “This is Pete Jr., our math whiz and basketball player; he’s the oldest. And that’s little Meg, the baby of our family. And Melanie here, well, she’s the middle child.” If the parents are confused about who the child is, you can bet the middle child is, too. She may feel inferior, overlooked and unloved.
Secretive – Middle children often keep their hurts to themselves. They won’t tell you how left out they feel when you unwittingly overlook them, but if you are attentive you will notice their inexplicably sullen or sad behavior.
Fighter of Injustice – Middle children can be vocal about fairness. It is a matter of life and death (you might be led to believe) that they get their turn to sit by you at the table, to have equal presents at birthdays or Christmas, or whatever matter they are comparing with their siblings.
Flexible – Because they are born in the middle of everything, they have had to learn to adjust. Some are more laid-back than others, but most of them know how to adapt to situations and people. They are a bit more realistic about problems and solutions.
Social – Once children conclude there is no “special” place for them at home, they begin to feel more secure with their friends.
Rebellious –Middle children just want to be noticed, to find their niche, and if they do not feel like they are getting enough attention, they may turn to outrageous or even rebellious behavior to get noticed.
Besides the social one, these pretty much describe me to a T. While some might not think me so rebellious, I certainly have had some outrageous behaviors in trying to get noticed.
Sometimes I think I just convince myself I will always be this way. But recently at work I have been put into some situations where I have felt very lost and trying to play the peacemaker role, and I have ended up getting hurt, but instead of expressing this, I just keep it to myself. All of these things just remind of how I often felt growing up. Middle Child Syndrome is very real, I suggest checking out this article if you do have 3 or more kids, there are some great tips on what to do about your middle child if they start displaying these types of behaviors. I actually really like being the middle child for the most part, I am surrounded by the family I love, when my odler siblings went away I wasn't left to my lonesome, I was able to form closer bonds with my younger ones. It really is a great place to be, however I certainly have developed these personality traits to go along with it and they are still very much a part of my life.
1 comment:
ME TOO!! All of it, me too. Basically, I could just take your entire post, change the name to Julie and it would still be true. Maybe that's why we get along so well...
But I agree. Being in the middle is the worst place to be b/c you get no attention, which leads to all of that crazy stuff, but also the best place to be b/c you can be close to everyone.
Also, I thought of another little tidbit I'd like to share with you. Hell is McDonald's playland, my friends.
Post a Comment