What Matters Most

My stress level was already climbing to new heights. The next few months are filled with a lot to do. Including a trip to China for work, a church Halloween party, which I am in charge of, not to mention the Christmas party as well. Plus a lot of other calendar items in between.
I raced home from work on Tuesday, skipping the gym, which is very rare for me, but I had signed up to go to a women’s church activity which included a sampling of soups and fresh veggies followed by a lesson on how to garden in small places. And I of course, signed up to make a soup, and forgot all about it. I made it home on Tuesday evening in time to get the soup together, then run off to the activity.
I am there, trying to relax and enjoy the sisterhood our church provides, had some delicious soups and homemade pickles, but in the back of my mind all I could think about was that I needed to get home and clean my kitchen, which I had left a mess, get some laundry started, and write a couple thank you notes, among other various tasks. But I was doing my best to have an enjoyable time. That’s when I heard my phone buzzing. I looked at it and saw Adam was calling me. I did not answer, because we were in the middle of our gardening lesson. I sent him a text message reminding him that I was at the church activity, in case he was wondering where I was. In return he sent me a text message home saying, “Can you come home, I got hurt playing softball?” So immediately, I quietly excuse myself from the room, trying not to look too panicked. I called him and asked him what was wrong. “I think I got a concussion, and I don’t want to be home alone because you’re not supposed to fall asleep.” he said. Hastily, I grabbed the pot I brought the soup in and sped home.

When I arrived, Adam was on the couch, laptop on, watching baseball. Looked pretty normal, he said he just had a headache and some neck and back pain, plus a fat lip. Poor guy. I told him I thought it might be a good idea for him to get a blessing. So I called my dad, and he called his friend Ian from church, who both came over promptly. In the meantime, I am working on getting my kitchen clean, and thinking Adam will be just fine. Ian and my dad gave Adam a beautiful blessing that his body would heal and react well to medicine and treatment and rest he needed.  Just as the blessing ended, the moment I have been reliving ever since, occurred. Adam leaned forward and said, “I’m really sweaty.” I looked at him and he looked terrible, his face was gray, his body limp. Then he stopped responding. He was still sitting up in the chair, his eyes were wide open. But there was nothing there. He was gone. I couldn’t tell if he was even breathing. I began to cry, Ian called 911 and my mom held it all together. I took Adam’s face in my hands and while his eyes were open, there was no connection with my eyes, totally unresponsive. So I looked at him deep in the eyes and said “I love you, you have to wake up! You can’t go to sleep!” I slapped his cheeks, and noticed a change in his eyes, a slight bulge like he finally saw me, but didn’t know what was happening. He wasn’t talking, not even breathing. I remained terrified. Ian diligently stayed calm while on the phone with 911 and we could hear the siren’s coming. My dad put his hand on Adam’s chest to see if he was breathing, and my mom leaned in to try and help me wake him. Then a deep inhale from Adam and the next thing we knew was that he was vomiting, my mom’s dress was collateral damage. But at least that meant he was breathing. I was still in panic mode. I ran and grabbed a towel so we could put it on Adam’s face. My mom took care of him, while I just looked on realizing in that moment, that nothing else mattered. My dirty kitchen, the stacks of laundry, the plants that needed watering, that thank you note I meant to write two days ago, I didn’t care. All that mattered was Adam. Soon enough the fire department arrived. Adam was totally responsive at that point. He knew his age, what day it was, where he was, all the typical stuff. Things were looking up. We did take an ambulance ride to Hoag hospital, so Adam could get looked at, have a CAT scan and make sure there was no bleeding anywhere. My wonderful parents and Ian tailed behind and waited patiently in the lobby at the hospital while Adam was checked out and had tests run. Turns out everything was ok, he “just had his bell rung” as the doctor put it and needed rest and fluids, they released us from the hospital.

I didn’t sleep that night, but that didn’t matter. I need to check on Adam every couple hours to make sure he was breathing. Nurses orders.

While we were all in the lobby waiting for Adam to come back from his CAT scan, I said to my mom, “I am going to be a terrible mom.” What  am I going to do when something like this happens to one of my kids?  I mean look at my sister, she’s had to hold it together while her sons have had several incidences.  Including a partially amputated finger, on her 3 year old, just over a week ago.  Seriously, I’m not cut out for this stuff.  I am too emotional, intense and extreme. 

Thankfully, as Adam was being carted off into the ambulance Ian said some calming words. Simple, but so wonderful, he said “It will be ok, he had a blessing.” In that moment I knew that Heavenly Father was watching over Adam and that his body was doing what it needed to, to recover from the full speed collision he had with a 260 pound shortstop while trying to catch a fly ball. I am so thankful for the power of the priesthood and the faith building experience it is to see it in action.

Now I just need to stop reliving the moment of emptiness when Adam was unconscious. It makes me cry when I think about it. I just hope to walk away from this experience with the positives. That we live in a country where if you’re having a medical emergency paramedics get there in 3 minutes. That the hospitals are clean and close by. That I am a member of a church that has proper priesthood authority. That I have a relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and trust in their will. That I have parents who will drop everything to come to my rescue and supportive friends who do the same. That I have a loving husband who is healthy today. I am lucky and grateful and counting my blessings.