Honestly my life is completely boring right now, hence the lack of blogging.
I was thinking about things though and how my routine is pretty basic and boring on a daily basis, at least I have a fairly interesting job to keep me inspired during the day, but I feel like I should be doing more with my time, with my life. An average day consists of waking up at 5:30am, at work by 6:45am, leave work by 3:45pm, to the gym at about 4:30pm, leave the gym at 6:00pm, home by 6:15, shower then eat dinner, finish dishes and all the sudden it’s 7:30pm and I am wiped. So typically at 7:30 I plop down on the couch lap top on lap, to catch up on facebook and blogs and emails and whatever odd news stories Yahoo has on their home page. At about 8pm the TV typically clicks on, and if I don’t have anything recorded from last night to watch I default to watching House Hunters.
Somehow the hours between 8pm and 10pm just disappear, and I have barely moved. The computer and the TV are both running and I don’t have to go anywhere. So I just sit and stare, mindlessly into Cyber Space and crappy reality TV.
I should read more, but our book club dissolved when everyone started having babies, which is totally understandable, I am happy for all the new mommies, but I miss them, I don’t have quite as much motivation to read when I don’t have a deadline for the next bookclub meeting, so I end up not reading much at all.
I should scrapbook, but I am almost 5 years behind now and honestly, I don’t think I will ever catch up, and with digital photography I can just make a book on Blurb or Picaboo, not that I do that either.
I should learn to do something new; sew, or cook, or learn to use our camera, or some sort of craft, all my friends seem to be so crafty, but I just can seem to get into it.
I should work on my calling as the Primary Music Leader in our ward, I could do much cuter things and maybe the kids would like me more, but in the end I doubt most of them even know my name.
I should do more service, but when it’s 8pm, there seem to be fewer opportunities.
I should be more social, be a better friend, but I am an introvert and extending that branch is so outside my comfort zone.
I should focus on my scripture study and my spiritual growth, but…
I should, I should, I should, but, but, but…. I have two hours, two precious hours and lately all I have done is spend them being a total couch potato. I am in a funk. But when you wake up at 5:30am everyday, you don’t really want to do much by 8pm at night. And someday I’ll have kids of my own, and will wish for those nights where I could be a couch potato to come back, so maybe I shouldn’t feel so bad for being a bit lazy during this stage of life.
I don’t know. Maybe we should get rid of TV for a while. But I love TV. I’ll admit it, I do. It’s terrible.
I need some motivation. Perhaps should set some goals. Can anyone relate? Who else out there feels this way? I feel like most people I know lead much more productive lives than I do. Any suggestions on how to get the most out of these two hours?
4 comments:
You are very right about wishing for those couch potato nights after having kids. Not that they disappear entirely, but they are definitely few and far between! I can totally relate to you. My funk time is during the kids nap. I have a million and one things I should probably do while they are sleeping, but I always end up watching a show and "folding laundry" or getting on facebook, blogs, pinterest, etc (like I'm doing right now :0). So don't feel too bad... I think we all do it! And you do so much with your time and life, you are entitled to two hours a day to have completely to yourself, to sit and relax! Especially when you wake up so early! I just look up to you for all the things you have done and get to experience. You are one awesome woman!
Ok, I understand about getting in funks (I frequently get into them too), but seriously, everything you listed is NORMAL! You work a full-time job, commute, maintain a home (I'm assuming often times with a lot of responsibility while Adam is traveling), etc. etc. I'm an introvert too and I do the exact same thing - sit on the couch - TV on - laptop on lap! It's great! And we normally turn on the House Hunters International, one of the dozens on our DVR! So, if you wanna come hang out over here, you'd fit right in! :-)
Seriously though, I know it's going to sound cliche', but you really can't compare yourselves to others and how crafty or productive YOU think they are. And the same goes for the "should have/should be" sentences. I'm preaching to myself really, because I do the same thing. I think sometimes these funks are kind of the quiet before a storm. Maybe you're right around the bend to realizing a new passion - whether it be photography or cooking or getting more involved in church, etc. So enjoy the downtime for what it is. By no means are you a couch potato or someone who lacks motivation; exactly the opposite! Enjoy it as a time of rest before something new pops up!
And if you ever want to take a class together at the Irvine Fine Arts Center or something, let me know! I've done most of their photography classes (and I'd highly recommend the one by Nick Carver). But I'd love to do a jewelry making or pottery class!
You accomplish great things everyday so enjoy your mindless TV and blog reading.
:-)
I fully support the 2 hours of TV. I need that time at the end of the day before I can go to sleep. If I fill that time with scrapbooking or something else productive, then I just end up staying up 2 hours later, vegging after I am done. It makes no sense.
I support the TV too!! Watching a show or 4 is my favorite thing to do :) Or you could come over to our house and watch TV with us ha ha then its kind of productive?
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