I am pretty sure the world stopped blogging about a year ago, and I'll most likely give it up sooner than later too, but for now, this is still pretty much how I am recording memories, thoughts and things that I might want to look back on later and there's been some things on my mind, I kind of want to just write them down. So here goes.
I feel like the laziest, most uninovled pregnant person in the world. Don't get me wrong, I am not hating pregnancy or dreading childbirth or anything like that, it's more of that I'm just really not into this whole thing. Early on I read a book about being pregnant, and felt like it was a waste of my time because I could just ask my Dr. these things and she is going to go over them with me anyway. So I didn't even bother opening the 3 other books I was given about the whole "being pregnant" thing. I do have two books I am bouncing back and forth between on the actual first year of a baby's life, which are more informative and I appreciate them, but mostly, I have always been a learn on the job type of person. Learning from books has never been my strength. I am trying to figure out a way to skip doing a birthing class, but I have people that tell me I should do it. I am almost halfway through this pregnancy and I haven't even given two minutes to thinking about my birthing plan. Pretty sure I'll just show up after my water breaks, ask for an epidural and let my body do its job. Sure I am aware of all the things that can and might happen... but I just don't want to spend too much time preparing for all these different things, when really, my body is just going to do whatever it is going to do and I trust the medical professionals to make the decisions that are in the best interest of the baby and me.
I am taking my pre-natal vitamins and exercising 4 -5 days a week, and pretty much eating the way I did before I was pregnant, fairly balanced, but still indulging, which does include processed foods, french fries, etc. I am not reading every label or tracking how much iron I am getting. I just figure, again, if the Dr.'s find something in my blood work or other tests that is of concern I'll learn about it and take their advice as it comes.
I've only taken one side view "belly picture" and I only really took it because I wanted to announce the pregnancy. I don't really think I want to be documenting every week of belly growth, they will just be reminders of how incredibly unattractive I feel. I can't seem to find time to go shopping for maternity clothes, so I basically have been rotating the last few remaining articles of clothing that are somewhat comfortable and just dealing with it.
We found out we were having a boy, which yes, was a fund and exciting appointment. I loved the ultrasound, but I still have no plans for a nursery, nor have I bought a single little boy outfit.
Adam doesn't have time, nor seem to care about any of this stuff either, so we don't really talk about it much.
I guess I am just feeling a little bit guilty that I am not the way so many of my friends are during their pregnancies... planning their births, reading every book, only eating the most nutritious foods, sewing their baby's bedding, doing all kinds of crafty things to make the world's cutest nursery on a budget.
I am starting to actually get a bit panicked about things. Our spare room, that will be a nursery eventually, is full of old furniture, and while we talked about having a garage sale or just listing them on craigslist, nothing is actually getting done. I think I am the most unmotivated pregnant woman on the planet.
Maybe, it's because I've been so lucky to have such an easy pregnancy so far. I really am pretty normal. My emotions are fairly similar to how I was before, I eat the same, exercise, go to work, wear the same clothes I had before (with some modifications) I really haven't changed much at all. I don't know what I expected, but I guess I just thought I'd be just obsessing about this huge life change a bit more and wanting to plan a bit better. It's strange, I am becoming stressed that I am not stressed about all of this. So silly. I just know that these next 20 weeks will fly by and all the sudden we'll have a baby... I guess I should stop writing this and start researching cribs, but I'll probably just take a nap.
None of the books I've read deal with an unmotivated pregnant lady... maybe I'm on to something here... but I am pretty sure the last thing the world needs is another book on pregnancy, birth or child rearing.
That's all for now, just wanted to get that off my chest. I really do feel so totally normal. and am thankful for that, but I've basically changed nothing. Here's hoping in the next 20 weeks I can get motivated!
Five Years
13 years ago
3 comments:
I appreciate your honesty! And actually, I kind of wish I could have been the same way. Perhaps because I had the high risk thing going on, I had a heightened sense of caution over everything! But don't stress about not being stressed!
And seriously, forget the birth plan. Get the epidural/meds and let you body do it's business.
The class was good, but didn't have much relevance in the end (to be honest). I wasn't going to be jumping around on a yoga ball, deep breathing like a hyena while Tony massaged my lower back. Instead, I laid there, watching some TV, eating ice chips and applying lip gloss. Much better. :-)
But I'd love to help you with any nursery decorating projects if the desire hits?!
Haha you're too funny Whit. I never had a birth plan and it wouldn't have helped anyway because each of my three births were completely different and when you're in the moment, you just do what needs to be done. And no matter how much people try to prepare you for everthing, it's going to be a completely new experience for you!
I take way too many belly pics when I'm pregnant! I also never took a birthing class, never read a book (except what to expect when you're expecting sometimes) and none of my kids have had a nursery of their own. Sometimes I think Pinterest and Blogs make us feel bad about ourselves if we aren't baking our own bread, making our kids accessories or coming up with new and exciting ways to organize the house.
You are going to be a great mother because you're a great person. You are going to be a loving mother because you're a loving person. You are not going to be a horrible mother because you still eat french fries and ice cream!
I'm so excited for you. When you get to hold that sweet baby boy in your arms for the first time, nothing else will matter except you, and Adam and he are a family forever.
All I know is that I don't want you to ever stop writing posts, or abandon your blog, because I'll always love reading all about your thoughts and feelings :-) I appreciate your honesty and pretty much everything else about you!
Love you!
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