A change is a comin'

I realized this weekend that I have a serious problem, a character flaw, if you will. I am a prideful pessimist. I suffer from depression, so I’ve just kind of naturally thought it is totally normal and acceptable for me to have a more pessimistic outlook on life and situations that I face.
Our Bishop gave an inspiring talk on Easter, however, that made me check myself. He spoke about being optimistic and remembering that God’s plan is, after all, called the plan of happiness. He went in to other details that enlightened me and made me realize that while I might have slight chemical imbalances that make me lean toward pessimism, I certainly don’t have to always take the approach of “woe is me” and “life isn’t fair.”
The reason I call myself a prideful pessimist, is because I feel like I have often taken a prideful stance when I talk about who I am and find myself constantly pointing that I am just naturally a pessimist. Why do I always find it important to point this characteristic out about myself? I don’t know why it took me this long to realize that it is not at all flattering, and that emphasizing only makes me more pessimistic.
So, this week, I have made what I consider to be a valiant effort to be more optimistic. To embrace and learn from the challenges life throws my way, and walk a path with more grace and gratitude for the knowledge and testimony I have of God’s plan of happiness. And you know what, it is working. Imagine that, when you make an effort to be happy and see things in a more positive light, it actually works! Genius!  I feel better at the end of each day and am actually sleeping better and waking up more refreshed and ready for whatever might come my way.
So, I am going to say, this will be the last time I openly say that I am “just a pessimistic person,” I am sure there will be days where I let those tendencies in and overwhelm me, but I don’t have go around shouting it from roof tops. I want to shout that I am a happy and positive person, living each day with a heart of gratitude that I’ve been given a chance to learn and grow as a daughter of God.