Back to work

Well it is here. It is time for me to go back to work.  I am terrified, nervous, sad, but so, so thankful. You see, if you've followed my blog at all, you've seen my posts about my career path.  For the past eight plus years I've traveled the world, spoken at conferences, meet important dignitaries, ran marathons and been inspired, all for mobility.  Truly, I hit the jack pot at Free Wheelchair Mission.  My job as International Operations Manager had become a dream job.  Big things were happening for me there when I found out I was pregnant.  Throughout my pregnancy I toiled over what to do about being a working mom or not.  Adam and I are blessed that we would be able to live on just his income (it wouldn't be easy) and Adam wanted me to do what was best for me, work or not. 

Motherhood has been the most amazing experience of my life.  But having a job outside the home that has been fulfilling as mine made the decision on what to do about work just that much harder.  I have loved my days with Troy.  He is just what I needed at this point in my life and has taught me so much already.  Around Thanksgiving it was time to get serious on deciding what to do about my career at FWM.  After much thought, prayers, tears and conversations I decided that my heart would just not be big enough to return to Free Wheelchair Mission on a full time basis.  I wouldn't be able to be as devoted as that job needs one to be, to be able to travel and ensure we were doing the best we could to get people up off the ground and transformed.  There was just no way.  I made the call to our inspired founder and let him know I would not be able to return to work in January as I had intended to do.  But...I had hoped to continued to contribute to FWM to share my knowledge and passion for the mission still. 

Through conversations and about a month long waiting period Free Wheelchair Mission invited me to return to the office as an independent contractor.  What this means is that I am not an actual employee anymore, but I will take on projects and share my knowledge of the programs I have been a part of for so long and contribute to lifting people up off the ground.  I will work on a project to project basis and be able to take time off in between projects if I need to.  I will be going into the office just two days a week, as that was all I offered to do.  I will work full days and if I need more time I can log hours from home too... All of this just seemed too good to be true, but I know it was an answer to prayer.  And if it turns out that I just can't balance being a "part-time" working mom, I will finish my projects and be done for a season.  I truly am so thankful for this opportunity and I think it will make me a better mom, give me a chance to continue to share my passion for mobility and give back to the world in a way that has been near and dear to my heart, and on the days I do have with Troy, I think I wont take for granted our time together so much.  I will focus more on him and less on social media or other nonsense we get ourselves distracted by. 

I know it will be hard for me to figure out how to get dinner on the table those two days and fit in any exercise, but I know things will work out, they always do. 

Here's hoping Troy starts to sleep better at night though...he's still waking up constantly wanting his pacifier, I am too exhausted to try and take it away...and it is the only way to soothe him. 

I am thankful I had four full months with my little munchkin to just adore him and bond, he really is my little buddy and I am going to miss his sweet smile, little giggles and chubby cheeks so much, but will cherish them even more on days I am home. 

Here's to the next chapter...